Friday, July 03, 2009

Tired! OR reTired? (休息!OR 放棄?)

混了二年的研究所,搞了半年的BLOG跟FACEBOOK+TWITTER~!用了還是不會~狠討厭的無名~永遠沒進度的小說~房間都沒整理~螞蟻大軍都在演習了~整個狠虛~想休息~把遠離電腦一二天~或更久~

搞了一陣子的網誌和BLOG~人氣好像沒有TWITTER好弄~我真的是人氣殺手~別人只要秀個肉打二三個腦殘似的文字~人氣就飛上天~ 這是在預言我如果寫書也不賣嗎~嗯嗯~TW或許是個HECKHOLE~或許也是我自己才是個文學的HECKHOLE~~整個好想放棄!MAN~~HELP me getting rid of it! ==

ENGLISH VERSION OF “PONYO“ 英文版的波妞

ENGLISH VERSION OF “PONYO“ 英文版的波妞!麥特戴蒙 TINA FEY 孟漢娜的親妹妹配波妞 還有女王凱特布蘭琪配大海神母!宮崎駿另一個好看的卡通!早就看完了~但還想再看一次!Apple - Trailers - Ponyo

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Thursday, July 02, 2009

Now Reading it!

Drácula Drácula by Bram Stoker


My review


rating: 5 of 5 stars



View all my reviews.

Different!

There was a time one of my friends asking me about studying abroad. What he said seen didn't mean anything but, to me, it looks like a thorn on my back. Keep bother my a long time though.

I've kept asking myself the same question all the time. And thinking what kind of world and life that friend and their "kind" are living in! To them, It seems never a problem go studying abroad. It's just a matter of your "need." Indeed, there isn't any problem in studying abroad. It's just...why I am going through is being questioned about NOT going abroad! Especially the kind of "good" student that others might see me as. But it's an awkward and practical question to either ask or answer.

It's a weir merit if one hasn't been studying abroad one would be incapable to either speak or teach good English. Even my students are going abroad on every vacation and holiday! It's...actually not bad! Frankly, It's really good for them. Yet the problem is--if one cannot go...economically incapable... is that bad?

It seems I AM and will be stuck in the place for good!

But the thing is when everyone is discussing about how they are going to study abroad in one place and constantly look back to me at the same time, then turn away back to their topics. How or what will you feel like? I don't quite know and would never want to!

It's a feeling of being different. Not only indifferent but different!

However, when people are talking about how their life sucks or what they dream about a better life than ever, I feel... totally satisfied. I know I may be too easy to be pleased or "desireless." But I AM actually happy with the life I have now! It seen I draw a circle and have myself living in it. Away from the outer world. But I still feel free living in my cage! Don't care whether this would scare off some other guys or employers. Put aside jobs and relationship. Just keep living in a Dalloway's/ Woolf's world. Madly in my writings. Looking out the window, as if I would never going to miss the azure, soothy sky at all!

What is the world they are living in? What is the like people have? I'm kinda know something about it, eventually! But back to my attic, I am my mad man. Yes! It's not woman's privilege to be mad in the attic, NOT ANY MORE!

I am a man with a different life in a different world? Totally exclusive from the world we see and know. Different from any living thing! It's more like their world than mine. Heaven or hell, it's all in the same world! it's around us. "The world behind the wall." Even it's just few centimeters away, there could be heaven on one side and hell on the other! I would never understand their world just like they can't realized mine. Like David in "North to Freedom," It's hard for people like him to get into a ordinary and peaceful life out there from the camp! People won't believe his story just like he couldn't know how to say it either. People never know what kind of life it's like. They rather regard it as some stories like fairy tales or even anecdotes. A story you would talk about it on the dinner table and cast it behind right after the meal no matter how sad or how fun it was. But to those who living in it, it would haunted them for the rest of their life!

Therefore, They rather just lock it deeply in their heart then buried with them, rotted with them, then perished.

The only thing one can tell is the deepest eyes looking at nowhere, once you catch it, there's no way out but being devoured into an endless, enormous abyss...

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

異生 Different!

有次,一個朋友在聚餐時,突然跑來問我:「ㄟ,大家都要出國了,你怎麼還在這?」

對啊,我也問著自己,也看著那位朋友,好像他們的世界中,出國去深造,好像不是個什麼問題,經費啊什麼的好像都不是問題,想去就去啊!但我不是在說出國深造有什麼不行的或是表示家境寬裕的,但不出國的呢?為什麼就要受到別人的質問和質疑?

當看到大家都紛紛出國去後,看著自己,仍困在國內,好像不出國就不叫學過英文的。沒出過國的,就沒辦法教好英文?

說困在國內好像有點言重了,但事實是什麼?當同學們聚餐時,都在討論著出國的事或計劃,只差大家沒一同轉過頭來看著我,再轉回去討論。那是什麼樣的感覺?我不知道,也不想知道!

當大家說著自己生活中有什麼遺憾或不滿足,而我卻覺得很幸福!在自己和外面的世界之間,劃個圈圈,把自己隔開!關在自己的牢籠中,卻覺得自由!也不管是不是會嚇跑想和我做朋友或想雇用我的人們,工作和感情,我都不管了!把自己囚禁在達洛維/伍爾芙的世界,瘋狂著書寫。看著窗外的天空,卻一點兒都不眷戀。

別人,是活在個什麼樣的世界?我好像能暸解一點兒,因為還是要面對!回到自己的閣樓內,就是個MAD MAN。

我是個異生的人?異於他人的生命體!他們的世界不是我的,是天堂也是地獄?就在我們身邊,沒有其他的分別,就算是隔著幾公分,對面也是天堂,而這兒是地獄?我不能體會他們的人生,相信他們也無法暸解我的。像是剛從集中營逃出來的DAVID,實在沒辦法再次融入其他一般人的生活!他既不能跟別人訴說著他以前是過著怎樣的生活,別人也無從體會。那樣的異樣人生,也像是童話故事一樣,很難讓人信服!或許只能像是奇人軼聞一樣,聽聽嘆息一聲就忘了,但對於異生的人來說,那是個多個深烙於心的痛!

說出來也是給人見笑算了…就埋在心裡,再埋在土裡,跟著肉軀的腐化,消失殆盡…

現在,唯一能察覺出來的,只有深得像死谷的眼神,像是一看到就無法自拔得陷入其中。

新背景音樂

來自法國的Stephane Pompougnac的Ghosts And Rose (Feat. Noemi)

是收自於他'07年的HOUSE新專輯:“Hello Mademoiselle“中!

希望您會喜歡本站的新面貌和新音樂!在NOEMI的擁懶嗓音中,

讓您有如置身於LOUNGE之中的錯覺!

Sunday, June 28, 2009

We'll Miss U, Michael J.

Last Friday at night, I was picking up my eldest sister, Brenda. I heard the radio from my car said Michael J. was found dead in his house. I was so socked and speechless. A time legend gone just like others did. A legendary superstar goes as legendary does. A dramatic fall of a shooting star! A brightest one. RIP Michael J.!

In a good way, you will never grow up again in your Neverland from above...or beneath...><... A greater deed paid for a great debt. When talking about debt, well, you surely have or had a lot of it!! ><.... Now you may never need to worry about that any more... XD Good for you! Anywho, you surely made a milestone for colored people/ African American. Not only in a entertainment business but in the White House as well. You all knew what/ whom I meant. >_O~ There would not be Beyonce, Will.i.am, or even 50 cents if you have never stood out! Set aside those scandals about you and your "interests." I'm sure no one is perfect. Even Hannah Montana sings/ says so!! :) Just... rest in peace then. Do not wake up like your MV "Thriller" ><... haha! but if you do, I think there will be a huge, warm welcome from all over the world!! (smile!!) heehee!

and for the last time... We will gonna miss u, Michael Jackson!