Couldn't I...

Couldn't I be ware? the slyness of men.
Couldn't I be so positive? A greater life I have now.
Couldn't I even know how to love & be loved?
Couldn't I be somebody's special?
All these questions come & go without answers...
and they probably won't be answered for good...
Maybe I'm just not a loving person type...
maybe I'm over-reacted...
or maybe.. I've thought too much...
Stop being so considerate might work
Just being a total jerk~ will I be loved again?
haha~that may be true~ but...
don't be ridiculous~ coz...
I wouldn't even like the person that only attracted by me in that way~
That would be ridiculous both of us...
I'm not a player in love games. &...
will never be...
If there aren't any men that would like to dedicate themselves for me and to me.
No men would like to make any effort on me. well... fine
fine by me... So... just let it be...
I'm not whining, I would no longer whining about life...no more!
I just try to let go...
If I can't be attractive to other people then
I won't force myself just in order to please someone else...
Even if I do... that would be someone that would be willing to do
something/anything for me or just...
"with truthful heart"!
just... you & me...
"Contra mundum"